Goodbye
by Icemask12
Summary: Deidara is having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one...can he bring himself to visit one last time? SasoDei, Rated T to be safe.


Goodbye

Part 1

Cold light filtered in through the room. The only sound was of one of the members of the Akatsuki occasionally turning to speak to each other, but soon silence overcame them again. Tobi, who did not like that nobody was talking-especially right after he had achieved his dream-tried to turn on the TV, but a hand grabbed his before he could get the remote. He looked around and saw Kakuzu, who murmured. "Not now. Not when Deidara's like this." He gestured at the blonde ninja, who lay on the couch, using the arm of it as a pillow. His eyes were a little wide, and his face was expressionless as he stared up at the ceiling. Every once in a while his mouth would move soundlessly, but then he'd look and see someone watching, and his mouth would snap shut.

And then he'd go back to staring at the ceiling.

Konan had been watching for some time, she was sitting on the other side of the room with Pein. They spoke in murmurs, and kept looking at Deidara. They started a soft argument, silently but furiously whispering.

"It's too soon."

"He can handle it. That's why we recruited him."

"Can't you see what this is doing to him? He isn't ready!"

"But the rest of us are."

"But-"

"No arguments." Pein looked a little angry, but then his face softened. "You can let him know."

Konan, looking incredibly sad, looked at Deidara, then back at Pein, who nodded. She stood up and walked over to the couch. Deidara didn't move.

"Dei?"

"Mm." He gave a sound of assent to show he was listening.

"I just thought you should know…we're leaving soon. Leaving this hideout."

"What about it?" They were the first words he'd spoken in days.

Konan, who looked like she had reached the point she'd been dreading, started to speak, but then stopped, looking like she didn't know how to go about what she wanted to say.

"See, the thing is…you might want…before we leave, to…" She struggled to find the words.

"What's she's saying." Said Pein, getting up and walking over. "What she means to say is, that we're leaving soon…so you should…you should probably say goodbye."

Deidara felt his insides go cold. This was the thing he'd been dreading, putting off for days. "Why are we leaving now?"

"Security reasons. We might be discovered if-"

"I know!" interrupted Deidara angrily, sitting up. "I know okay? But I'm just not ready to yet!" He made a grab for his cloak, missed and hit Tobi, who fell backwards off the arm of the chair he'd been sitting on, but Deidara didn't notice, only making a slightly less vicious grab for his cloak as he stormed out of the room. Tucking it under his arm. Konan watched him go, the beginnings of tears on his face, then shut her eyes and sighed as she heard the door slam. She looked at Pein sadly. "I told you he wasn't ready. Give him time."

"We have no time. If he doesn't say goodbye today or tomorrow he never will, because we're leaving tomorrow night."

Part 2

"Sempai?" There was a gentle knock at the door. Deidara ignored it, lying on his bed, his cloak forgotten. Snow blew silently against his window, and he stared at his ceiling fan, which was stationary throughout the winter. More out of a random urge then of actual common sense, he reached up, his fingers finding the switch, and turned it on. It began to spin, faster and faster, the whirring blades merging into one circular one. He watched it closely, thinking. How easy it would be, to stick a hand into the blades, to bring them to a vital point. How fragile life is, that it can live healthily for hundreds of years, then be cut off in a single moment, never to exist again. _"You were wrong, Danna. Maybe something can be beautiful if it exists long into the future…but nothing truly beautiful ever does. Flowers die, waves crash, snow melts…maybe something like that could be beautiful if it was eternal. But it isn't."_

The knock came again louder; there was a slightly frantic "Sempai?" and the doorknob began to turn. Deidara sighed and closed his eyes. "What is it, Tobi?" The pounding at the door stopped, and a relieved voice asked "Can I come in?" Deidara opened his eyes. "Yeah." Tobi needed no second invitation. He burst into the room, like he had expected there to be a barricade of some sort against the door, then, embarrassed, turned and closed it softly behind him. "Oh! Sempai!" He exclaimed, seeing Deidara on the bed. "You were in here so long, and then when you didn't answer I thought you'd…" He paused, then shook his head. Deidara didn't need to ask to know what he'd been thinking. "Not going to be killing myself any time soon, Tobi. What is it?"

Tobi let out an exhalation of breath, seeming nervous, as if he was expecting a violent response. "I just thought you should know…you might want to say goodbye soon, because Pein-sama changed the time that we leave."

"Oh. When are we leaving now?"

"Tonight."

Part 3

Snow blew thickly as two figures trudged through the gathering drifts, struggling upward in an effort not to be covered entirely by it. Deidara turned and looked back at the large stone that marked the entrance to the hideout. _"He's too far away."_ He thought silently. They had to be half a mile away, and the only reason that the hideout was still visible from this distance was because they had been traveling steadily uphill. "Sempai" Said Tobi, interrupting Deidara's thoughts. "Look." He pointed a gloved finger upward, and through the thickly gathering snow a dark shape could be seen, stark against the white sky. It was mostly square, but the top had a design on it that was hard to make out through the snow. "Deidara-sempai. We're here." Tobi started up the hill, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. Deidara stood behind him, not taking his eyes off the headstone. "Tobi...if you don't mind…I think…I'd like to go alone." Tobi looked at him for a few seconds, then nodded and stepped back. Deidara removed his hand from Tobi's shoulder. "Thank you for accompanying me here. I don't think I would have been able to make it on my own." Even as it was, he felt the familiar feeling in his chest, the one he'd felt every time he'd thought of coming here; fear, mixed in with sorrow. He took a few steps, then stopped, and took a deep breath. "Danna...if you can hear me, now more than ever I need your strength…"

He continued walking-leaving Tobi near a small, makeshift stone wall falling under the burden of snow and time-until he was five feet away from the dark shape, now revealed to be a headstone with the symbol of the Sand Village protruding from the top, crossed out. He stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. _"What do people do at graves?"_ He thought, but as he'd never mourned before, nor seen anyone else do so, he was unable to answer the question. His eyes were drawn to the name on the grave. "Sasori of the red sand." He murmured. "How uncreative…shouldn't a headstone be a tribute to the person lying beneath it?" Feeling slightly awkward, but like it was the right thing to do, he walked over to the headstone and sat down next to it, clearing away the snow a little bit with one hand. "You see Danna, if I had made that headstone, it would be a work of art. Your art I mean, not mine, because it would remain eternal and all that. It would have all your greatest triumphs listed on it, all your glory…but…" He looked sadly at the polished stone, the back of which was covered in snow that had blown up against it. "There isn't a headstone big enough to fit all that is there Sasori-danna?" He blinked tears out his eyes, which proved a useless action as more came anyway, a few escaping and running down his face, making the trails they left more vulnerable to the bitter cold. "Is there?" He asked again, knowing the only reply would be the wind whistling through the dead trees.

Part 4

Tobi was getting worried. Deidara had been up there for a long time, and there was no sign of his coming back down. Although it had been risky, Tobi had snuck up to see what Deidara had been doing maybe an hour or so ago. Deidara, luckily, hadn't noticed him, and he'd been able to hide behind the crumbling stone wall and catch bits of a one-sided conversation between him and the headstone. Tobi silently debated the matter of going and telling him it was time to leave, wondering if Deidara would get angry if he did so. Finally, when Tobi saw the white sky was growing gray, he set off towards the top of the hill. The snow had slowed down now, making visibility clearer, meaning that Tobi saw Deidara before he understood what had happened. "Sempai!" He yelled, trudging upward and half-skipping through the last few feet of snow. "Sempai it's…" He stopped dead.

Tobi stood silently, the snow blowing up against his mask, but he made no movement to brush it off. Deidara lay with half his body against the headstone, the other half propped up the drift of snow that had accumulated against his back. He was smiling slightly, and if not for the deathly pale color of his skin he might have been sleeping. Tobi stood there a few moments longer, then walked over to Deidara's body and kneeled down next to him. His arms lay close to the headstone, like they had been embracing it before he'd lost the strength to do so. Tobi looked and saw Deidara's eyes were still half open, clear blue but glazed over, staring sightlessly at the graying sky, or maybe beyond it. He carefully put up a gloved hand and made a brushing motion, closing Deidara's eyes and brushing the snow out of them. He started to put his arms under Deidara's body, as if to lift him, but then stopped. _"If I bring him back, all that will happen is that he'll be eaten by Zetsu-san…"_ Tobi looked down at Deidara, eternally sleeping, and then at the stone wall. He smiled slightly behind the mask as an idea came to him, then put Deidara back down, carefully arranging his arms and legs so that he could be sleeping beside Sasori's grave.

When Tobi was done, he stepped back to admire his handiwork. Where the crumbling stone wall had stood, there was now only browned grass, and dirt that stood out in stark contrast against the snow. A makeshift, but carefully constructed stone cairn stood next to the grave, half in and half out of the ground. Itachi had come to see what had been taking them so long, and though he'd never particularly liked Deidara he'd agreed to put a seal on the cairn so that it couldn't be broken into. They stood there silently for a moment, then Tobi remembered something and said "Wait…" Itachi watched silently as Tobi rummaged around in his cloak, then pulled out a slightly crushed clay figure. "I…stole this from Deidara's room, because I liked it." Said Tobi, slightly embarrassed. He walked over to the cairn, which was close to Sasori's headstone, and wedged the clay figure carefully between them, so that it rested on one of the stones that jutted out unevenly from Deidara's cairn.

"I thought it looked a bit like Sasori no danna. What do you think Itachi-san?"

Itachi knelt and looked at the figure carefully. The expression on his face was hidden by his cloak, but he sounded a little surprised as he stood up.

"Yes Tobi. I think it looks a lot like Sasori-san."


End file.
